Emotional Turmoil (111116)

Back in the days... Teaching is a big no-no for me. Then, tutorials started where i have felt fulfillment. While studying, i have teached special classes. After grad, I became an instructor for a year. A year of awesome experience where I loved teaching more. I actually had plans, we had plans. I had plans to delve in myself more in the academic field (getting units and even getting MS..lol).

The thing is everywhere else, anywhere else... Whatever group or organization you may be, there will always be people who will root for your success or failure. Unfortunately, the negative ones prevailed and i didn't pushed through with whatever plans i had. I was so hurt to leave everything behind (my students, mentors, friends and all the laid plans) that the drive to push myself for the academe was eventually lost. I am still bitter about it, that I admit now because it's still painful for me and I miss everything. I have accepted it but you can't blame me. It hurts you know!

To those people who inflicted me such? Have i forgiven them? If I am in my normal state of emotions, I can say yes but I will never forget. But as of the moment...i can't help but blame them and that person who ruined my plans. At some point, it made me feel helpless as F.

I made a choice for myself and I am side tracking now, to achieve my forever dream. It's like taking another way to reach my destination and skipping the paved way i had made in my mind. Someday hopefully, I can still push the plans of being a part of the academe.

I miss teaching, especially in a classroom envi...seriously. And I kind of not like this negative feeling I've got. So bitter. So negative.

The Dreaded Question

It was just a not so normal day to hangout with one of the Eat Bulaga's That's My Baes. It is not normal for a fact that we get to hangout with Kimmy despite the busy schedule. Kimmy, or Kim Michael Last by the way is the youngest among the That's My Baes and my considered lil bro even if we always clash. 

I love this guy even if he is a big time bully. 

If you don't know me and you have read the entire blog which I haven't given so much attention for quite a while..I am a fan girl and I am an avid fan of one of the That's My Baes - Jon Timmons. (I will be posting about him later...)

Well, like the usual situation. Kimmy is forever a bully. When we arrived in Rufo's, Ate Mavy and Wifey Dan went out to do something and I am the one left with Kimmy with his fans. Maybe because he is way much more comfortable with me or he simply loves to bully me or everyone is just so mesmerized of his presence, he talked to me. Well, the topic? About Jon. 

Kimmy said a lot that day. He said he's got better brows, eyes, nose, lips, hair and everything else than Jon. He even said that how unfortunate for us coz Jon already left and he is around and he still got time to bond with his fans. Like I said, Kimmy is a bully.

Then, he popped that crazy question that I really dread to hear. He asked.. 

"Mahal mo ba si Jon?"

At first I was like... Uh-oh! It was like I had all my nerves in alert mode. Kind of crazy, really!

Then I answered Kimmy…

“Oo naman, mahal ko naman kayo lahat.”

And he said.. “safe answer, safe answer.”

Eh di shing! It really rattled me big time. It bugs me until now. It’s like… O to the M to the G! I so dread the question and this simply mean I need to work my ass out and accomplish the requirements I need for me to be able to go. Like very soon!

I am back! 110616

It has been a while that I haven't shared my thoughts or whatsoever in here. It is just so sad. My blog feels so empty, when in fact I have lots of things in mind to share to whomever will ever read my page in this so wide and so big world of internet. 

Yeah...

I know I am literally lazy on jotting down whatever is on my mind. The thing is, I need to share my thoughts on another platform. It seems like I am so obvious to people that has the same mindset as I am.